Dear Mr Brad Blackstone,
I am Mohamed Haziq, currently a Y1 student at the Singapore Institute of Technology (SIT) pursuing a Bachelor of Engineering with Honours in Civil Engineering. I am writing this letter to formally introduce myself to you as a student attending your module: "Critical Thinking and Communication".
I graduated from Singapore Polytechnic in May 2020 with a diploma in Civil Engineering. I have always appreciated doing math and physics and the idea of building construction fascinates me to a huge extent. I was even drawn to railway construction when I was doing my internship with Land Transport Authority (LTA). I was attached to the project team that was responsible for the building of Orchard Boulevard MRT station and that was when my passion for civil engineering grew deeper. I personally feel that civil engineering will always be needed here all the more since Singapore is rapidly growing in terms of population and technology. This implies more brilliant, innovative, and sustainable ideas are needed to accommodate Singapore's progress and growth.
Having initiative, great suggestions, and being a great team player has always been my strength. However, I lack in having a strong voice and being firm & critical in decision-making. I do admit I struggled a bit when communicating with others in the hopes they may or may not get my message. Nonetheless, one thing about me that is far different from others is my tenacity. I do not back down that easily and always like a challenge. With that being said, I hope by graduating from this module, I will be able to become better at communicating and improve my writing skills too. Furthermore, in the workforce, engineers will be writing a lot of meetings and reports so I hope to achieve the right level of articulation when getting my messages across them.
I am grateful to be part of your class as I know it will help me find my voice so I can speak better professionally in the future and I hope to make a change in the first impression that you have on me. I look forward to seeing you in class with the hopes of improving my communication skills. Thank you for taking the time to review this letter.
Yours Sincerely,
Mohd Haziq
Hey Haziq,
ReplyDeleteI appreciate how you seamlessly connected aspects that make you unique with your communication strengths and weaknesses, that link creates a well-organised flow in your content. The first paragraph is particularly well-written. I'd like to highlight a minor detail in the first paragraph: consider spelling out "year 1" instead of "Y1" given the theme of a formal introductory letter.
When it comes to sentence structure and language use, consider this:
"With that being said, I hope by graduating from this module, I will be able to..."
Could be rephrased as:
"Given that, I aspire to enhance both my communication and writing skills through the completion of this module"
Additionally, I find that tools like Grammerly help me with my language use, and I would suggest using it as a form of validation after you have completed your email. Despite this, I was still able to comprehend the message you intended to convey, and I believe that you did a great job! Kudos to you, Haziq!
Hi Haziq,
ReplyDeleteWith my fullest respect, you are lying about not being firm. My evidence for that statement? The moment you apply this mastery of language command in your spoken communication, I dare say your strong voice and firm stance will follow.
(For all law enforcement entities, the part about lying is a humorous setup to the encouraging words that follow. This is not an admission of guilt.)
Now that my joking mood is out of the way, denoting this email as "well-written" is barely scratching the surface. Clear flows that show fully your thoughts and experiences, concise expansions on your sensibilities to civil engineering, insightful view into your strengths and weaknesses. Your text didn't fit into 300 words, but I'm thankful for it. This text may not be your complete story, but it's more than enough to understand who you are, what drives you, and how you approach life.
Oop, forgot one last thing. Hope to understand you better over our classes together!
DeleteHi Haziq, I was really engaged while reading your letter and learning more about you. It was great to read about your LTA internship and your passion for civil engineering.
ReplyDeleteI like the language you used for the letter and I feel it captures the required tone of the letter well. Hope to know you better during this class!
Hi Haziq, I realised that I understand you better after reading your letter. I always thought that you had no problems communicating with others as I find you to be really sociable. I think there could be some examples given especially when you mention your challenges faced. I find this really well written, topics are clear and concise. Excellent work!
ReplyDeleteDear Haziq,
ReplyDeleteThank you for sharing this clearly articulated, well developed and informative letter. You address the key components of the brief and provide substantial details. For instance, I like how you have described the inspiration you feel for civil engineering. You also elaborate beautifully on your communication strengths and weaknesses. I'm now honoured to be privy to your further development, a matter I don't take lightly.
Your classmates' positive feedback corroborates the positive sense I have for this post.
Looking forward to learning more about you this term.
Best wishes,
Brad